If Operating Systems Were Beer

For most IT professionals coffee is the most preferred drink but,
directly after that black liquid, beer is a close second AND, it helps when
discussing
the advantages and disadvantages of operating systems.

DOS Beer

Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the
directions carefully before opening the can. Originally only came in
an 8-oz. can, but now comes in a 16-oz. can. However, the can is
divided into 8 compartments of 2 oz. each, which have to be consumed
separately.
Although soon to be discontinued, a lot of people are going to keep
drinking it after it"s no longer available.

Mac Beer

At first, came only in a 16-oz. can, but now comes in a 32-oz. can.
Considered by many to be a "light" beer. All the cans look identical.
When you take one from the fridge, it opens itself. The ingredients
list is not on the can. If you call the brewery to ask about the
ingredients, you are told that "you don"t need to know." A notice on
the side reminds you to drag your empties to the trash can.

Windows 3.1 Beer

The world's most popular. Comes in a 16-oz. can that looks a lot like
Mac Beer's. Requires that you already own DOS Beer. Claims that it
allows you to drink several DOS Beers simultaneously, but in reality
you can only drink a few of them, very slowly.
Especially slow if you are drinking the Windows Beer at the same time.
Sometimes, for apparently no reason, a can of Windows Beer will
explode when you open it.

OS/2 Beer

Comes in a 32-oz can. Does allow you to drink several DOS Beers
simultaneously. Allows you to drink Windows 3.1 Beer simultaneously
too, but somewhat slower. Advertises that its cans won't explode when
you open them, even if you shake them up first. You never really see
anyone drinking OS/2 Beer, but the manufacturer (International Beer
Manufacturing) claims that 9 million six-packs have been sold.

Windows 95 Beer

No one drinks it much yet, but a lot of people have taste-tested it
and claim it's wonderful. The can looks a lot like Mac Beer's can, but
tastes more like Windows 3.1 Beer. It comes in 32-oz. cans, but when
you look inside, the cans only have 16 oz. of beer in them. Most
people will probably keep drinking Windows 3.1 Beer until their
friends try Windows 95 Beer and say they like it. The ingredients
list, when you look at the small print, has some of the same
ingredients that come in DOS beer, even though the manufacturer claims
that this is an entirely new brew.

Windows NT Beer

Comes in 32-oz. cans, but you can only buy it by the truckload. This
causes most people to have to go out and buy bigger refrigerators. The
can looks just like Windows 3.1 Beer's, but the company promises to
change the can to look just like Windows 95 Beer's - after Windows 95
beer starts shipping. Touted as an "industrial strength" beer, and
suggested only for use in bars.

Unix Beer

Comes in several different brands, in cans ranging from 8 oz. to 64
oz. Drinkers of UNIX Beer display fierce brand loyalty, even though
they claim that all the different
brands taste almost identical. Sometimes the pop-tops break off when
you try to open them, so you have to have your own can opener around
for those occasions, in which case you either need a complete set of
instructions or a friend who has been drinking UNIX Beer for several
years.

Amiga DOS Beer

The company has gone out of business, but their recipe has been picked
up by some weird German company, so now this beer will be an import.
AmigaDOS Beer never really sold very well because the original
manufacturer didn't understand marketing. Like UNIX Beer, AmigaDOS
Beer fans are an extremely loyal and loud group. It originally came in
a 16-oz. can, but now comes in 32-oz. cans too. When this can was
originally introduced, it appeared flashy and colorful, but the design
hasn"t changed much over the years, so it appears dated now. Critics
of this beer claim that it is only meant for watching TV anyway.

VMS Beer

Requires minimal user interaction, except for popping the top and
sipping. However, cans have been known on occasion to explode, or
contain extremely un-beer-like contents.
Best drunk in high pressure development environments. When you call
the manufacturer for the list of ingredients, you're told that it's
proprietary and referred to an unknown listing in the manuals
published by the FDA. Rumors have it that this was once listed in the
Physicians' Desk Reference as a tranquilizer, but no one can claim to
have actually seen it.
--
subjugate the rhyme and rock with the rhythm
only got one line to balk all the schizm

G_Cowboy_is_That_a_Gnu_Hurd? wrote:[color=blue]
> If Operating Systems Were Beer
>
> For most IT professionals coffee is the most preferred drink but,
> directly after that black liquid, beer is a close second AND, it helps when
> discussing
> the advantages and disadvantages of operating systems.
>
> DOS Beer
>
> Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the
> directions carefully before opening the can. Originally only came in
> an 8-oz. can, but now comes in a 16-oz. can. However, the can is
> divided into 8 compartments of 2 oz. each, which have to be consumed
> separately.
> Although soon to be discontinued, a lot of people are going to keep
> drinking it after it"s no longer available.
>
> Mac Beer
>
> At first, came only in a 16-oz. can, but now comes in a 32-oz. can.
> Considered by many to be a "light" beer. All the cans look identical.
> When you take one from the fridge, it opens itself. The ingredients
> list is not on the can. If you call the brewery to ask about the
> ingredients, you are told that "you don"t need to know." A notice on
> the side reminds you to drag your empties to the trash can.
>
> Windows 3.1 Beer
>
> The world's most popular. Comes in a 16-oz. can that looks a lot like
> Mac Beer's. Requires that you already own DOS Beer. Claims that it
> allows you to drink several DOS Beers simultaneously, but in reality
> you can only drink a few of them, very slowly.
> Especially slow if you are drinking the Windows Beer at the same time.
> Sometimes, for apparently no reason, a can of Windows Beer will
> explode when you open it.
>
> OS/2 Beer
>
> Comes in a 32-oz can. Does allow you to drink several DOS Beers
> simultaneously. Allows you to drink Windows 3.1 Beer simultaneously
> too, but somewhat slower. Advertises that its cans won't explode when
> you open them, even if you shake them up first. You never really see
> anyone drinking OS/2 Beer, but the manufacturer (International Beer
> Manufacturing) claims that 9 million six-packs have been sold.
>
> Windows 95 Beer
>
> No one drinks it much yet, but a lot of people have taste-tested it
> and claim it's wonderful. The can looks a lot like Mac Beer's can, but
> tastes more like Windows 3.1 Beer. It comes in 32-oz. cans, but when
> you look inside, the cans only have 16 oz. of beer in them. Most
> people will probably keep drinking Windows 3.1 Beer until their
> friends try Windows 95 Beer and say they like it. The ingredients
> list, when you look at the small print, has some of the same
> ingredients that come in DOS beer, even though the manufacturer claims
> that this is an entirely new brew.
>
> Windows NT Beer
>
> Comes in 32-oz. cans, but you can only buy it by the truckload. This
> causes most people to have to go out and buy bigger refrigerators. The
> can looks just like Windows 3.1 Beer's, but the company promises to
> change the can to look just like Windows 95 Beer's - after Windows 95
> beer starts shipping. Touted as an "industrial strength" beer, and
> suggested only for use in bars.
>
> Unix Beer
>
> Comes in several different brands, in cans ranging from 8 oz. to 64
> oz. Drinkers of UNIX Beer display fierce brand loyalty, even though
> they claim that all the different
> brands taste almost identical. Sometimes the pop-tops break off when
> you try to open them, so you have to have your own can opener around
> for those occasions, in which case you either need a complete set of
> instructions or a friend who has been drinking UNIX Beer for several
> years.
>
> Amiga DOS Beer
>
> The company has gone out of business, but their recipe has been picked
> up by some weird German company, so now this beer will be an import.
> AmigaDOS Beer never really sold very well because the original
> manufacturer didn't understand marketing. Like UNIX Beer, AmigaDOS
> Beer fans are an extremely loyal and loud group. It originally came in
> a 16-oz. can, but now comes in 32-oz. cans too. When this can was
> originally introduced, it appeared flashy and colorful, but the design
> hasn"t changed much over the years, so it appears dated now. Critics
> of this beer claim that it is only meant for watching TV anyway.
>
> VMS Beer
>
> Requires minimal user interaction, except for popping the top and
> sipping. However, cans have been known on occasion to explode, or
> contain extremely un-beer-like contents.
> Best drunk in high pressure development environments. When you call
> the manufacturer for the list of ingredients, you're told that it's
> proprietary and referred to an unknown listing in the manuals
> published by the FDA. Rumors have it that this was once listed in the
> Physicians' Desk Reference as a tranquilizer, but no one can claim to
> have actually seen it.[/color]

Linux beer: Brew your own...

Karl S.